Katy has been very busy with Girl Scouts lately - a lot of her time and mine is devoted to allowing her to complete her project for her Girl Scout Silver Award - please visit http://www.crittersilverproject.info for information on her project and how you can help her reach her goals.

Wow, I find it hard to believe that it has been five months since I have written anything here. I can think of hundreds if not thousands of times that I thought of something that I wanted to write, but got so caught up in my daily life that I would forget or simply find that I just did not have the energy. It is no secret that have been battling depression and anxiety disorder for years now. I have to admit that I have hit some rough patches with those problems again, especially right before the holidays. I can feel it coming and I know there is nothing to stop it, but I push through as best as I can and hope I come out of my funk before I miss wonderful moments.

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This is the 10th anniversary weekend of the 9/11 attacks ... I know a pretty obvious statement. I have to admit that this year more than others, I am feeling a bit raw emotionally about the anniversary. Maybe it is all the the questions that my daughter and son who were 3 yrs. and 2 yrs (respectively) have been asking about the vague memories they have of that day and its events/ Maybe it is all the coverage on the news, maybe it is all the shows that some of my favorite channels have been producing and showing this month. Maybe it is the idea of this possible terror plot. Most likely it is all of these things together.  

Yes, I am going to cry a lot this weekend. I am going to cry remembering the shock, fear and anger of that day. I am going to cry when I see the images of despair, fear and destruction. I am going to cry in mourning for those who lost their lives and for those who live with the loses of those they loved and cared for that day. I am going to cry for the caring and heartfelt compassion that people poured out to help each other get through the tragedy of that morning. I am going to cry because in my heart I still feel and believe that this is a great nation of people.

I still believe that we cannot be destroyed by an outside force based in hatred. I still believe that we can only destroy ourselves for the inside, by fighting amongst ourselves. I still believe we are a people descended from ancestors from many different parts of the world; all searching to make a better life for themselves and their families. We are descended from strong pioneers and immigrants who were looking to be free in ways that were thought radical in most parts of the world. I believe we are still pioneering our way through this world. I believe that as much as  9/11/01 was a day of suffering and grief, that 9/12/01 was a day of aspiration and ascension. I believe we still have faith.

I do not have hope that this country will survive. I have faith. To me, hoping for something implies a wishing that something will happen. Faith implies that you believe it will happen. Faith implies confidence. I do not hope for change. I have faith that change will be made. I have faith in this because many are beginning to remember that we make our country what it is and will become. We hold the power. We are not defined or created by our government, we define and create our government. I have faith that we stand by our beliefs, values and rights.

We can still rise up as a country. We can still be true Americans. It is not going to be easy. We are going to cry, because it will not be easy. Tough decisions will have to be made by the people and those we choose to put in power. There is a saying that we need to remember - "You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time." In the same respect, those we put in power, those who choose to abuse that power and not respect the wishes of the people should remember what Abraham Lincoln said, "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time." Not everyone will like the changes that need to be made. We need to believe that we can make it through these tough times. We can. No, we have to make it through, because as much as we are able to rebuild skyscrapers and erect memorials, if we do not preserve this country, it's beliefs and values, then the 2,977 victims of the 9/11 attacks died it vain. If that is true then the 19 hijackers and the countless people who supported them succeeded.  They did not tear us apart, but they would have succeeded in proving that we are as weak as they had hoped. I have faith that we will prove them wrong.

Have heard this song many times lately, and I simply cannot add anything to this ... Thank you Lord for given the gift of song and words to those who can touch us with their melodies.

"Blessings" - Written and Preformed by Laura Story
for more info on Laura Story visit her website at www.laurastorymusic.com

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

And what if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can’t satisfy?

And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?

Amazing how it seems that when the darkest moments come to a friend or family member I am the first one praying for their strength, and yet, when I am battling my own personal scrimmages and demons I see to forget this the most basic and simplest step for mental and spiritual victory. So, now as I take my friends' prayers and needs to the Lord, I need to be a little selfish and take my own. God does not expect us to find our own way through our problems, He wants to have a relationship with us and He wants us to come to Him in our times of need and of joy. Please dear friends, remember today the greatest comfort we have in this world is our Heavenly Father, and no one will ever care more than he does about your heart. No one is greater to share our joys, trials and sorrows with - the day you accepted Christ as your Savior was your birthday and wedding all in one. God loves us as a parent loves their child - unconditionally and like a spouse, He vows to love us for better and for worse, in sickness and in health and not even death shall part you from our Lord God. So I send these songs today. They were playing on the internet radio today and both versions played minutes apart from each other. Yep, I do believe God can control Pandora when he wants us to hear a message, and yep, sometimes, I need multiple reminders to drive his message home.